As I was leaving the house today I gave my boyfriend a kiss, I gave my dog a kiss, and I got a chill down my spine. For some reason, the fear that this could be my last time seeing them crept up on me.
As I got into my car and started the engine I sent my two sisters well wishing text messages as if responding to an instinct. I furrowed my brow and dug deep within myself to answer for these morbid intuitions, but instead of quelling the fear out came a few tears.
As I drove to work I was gently tearing. Not outright crying and no where near sobbing. The action seemed to ease my soul. I reached up into my higher level and sent out a prayer. Remembering that last night it occurred to me to pray for my boyfriend and I’s health, the creeping feeling gained strength as I realized the feeling actually dawned on me the night before this morbid morning.
Needless to say, I drove painstakingly careful. I prayed until I parked my car in the garage at work. I played a minute of an upbeat song before I decided to face the day with a stronger face.
As I made a quick stop in the bathroom to check my face for signs of crying, I drew in a breath of cold air and let out a breath of warmth and knew I’d be fine.